Thursday, June 19, 2014

Mothering and Becoming Myself

THIS Series on Motherhood/Work Balance is SO hitting home to me lately.

My sweet baby girl is officially a toddler now and things are shifting for me. The first several months, and really almost the first year, of her life I was just going with the flow. Getting used to taking care of an infant, understanding her unique little personality, meanwhile trying to take care of myself was no small task and it took all the attention I could gather. After she turned a year old, I felt conviction to begin scheduling out my days, planning her naps, planning quiet time for me, time for Bible study/journaling/prayer, exercise, meal planning, cleaning and really all those things that are on my to-do list. With more of a schedule in place now, I felt relief and accomplishment. But there were still pockets of unclaimed time and a sense at the end of each day "what did I do with myself today?" I started feeling lost, as many young mothers do. I figured this was just the season of motherhood, that the days are long and the years are short, as they say.

I love staying home with my girl. It's exactly where I want to be. But I am beginning to strongly feel like I must not abandon myself to motherhood and forget my dreams, desires, and God-given gifts. I can't just put myself "on hold" until I have an empty nest. Especially with my history of co-dependency, I am hyper-aware of my penchant for martyrdom and idealism and perfectionism which all contribute to a suffocating version of motherhood that I keep selling to myself.

My friend Brandie and I were discussing this idea of wanting to balance motherhood with work/hobby/activity that inspires a woman to be herself. I feel exasperate, how is a woman to do it all!??!

My friend Liz said something really remarkable to me at a Bible study a few months ago- that she finds her ambitions in motherhood by asking herself what kind of mother would she want for her daughter. That sort of objectivity has been so eye-opening to my own ambitions for my motherhood!

I want my daughter to have a mother who is fully alive in her giftedness.
I want my daughter to have a mother who isn't afraid to try new things, things that don't necessarily make sense.
I want my daughter to have a mother who isn't afraid to fail.
I want my daughter to have a mother who keeps moving forward, even when the next step is uncertain.
I want my daughter to have a mother who is strong and laughs at the days to come.
I want my daughter to have a mother who is passionate about becoming the person God made her a little more every day.
I want my daughter to have a mother who follows God with her whole entire heart and soul.
I want to be that role model to my daughter, to teach by example, by living, by moving, by loving.


Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Birk Love

I've been watching this Birkenstock craze to see if it will stick...

My only connotation of that sandal was that hippies and my aunt with foot problems wear them so they didn't exactly strike me as glam. I was so skeptical, assuming it would be a mild trend that not many people actually embrace (think, recent overall comeback), but Y'ALL, it's sticking around! And they're actually looking AWESOME!

Then I saw Sarah over at Whoorl gushing about them on Facebook and so many people commented with their Birk-clad feet! And all so cute. It kind of solidified my enchantment.

My very sweet ol' lady Abby (that means "roomie" in Aggie talk) messaged me one day about seeing my comment on FB about Birks. She was wanting the exact pair! Within the week, she had found some stellar deal at DSW and is now the proud owner of some Black Gizahs. The following week, I texted her asking how they were feeling, and as we're talking, I get out to fill up my car at the gas station and the woman in the sleek black escalade next to me steps out of her car wearing, you guessed it, some Gizahs.

Duh, if Heidi Klum is wearing them, they must be in. 

Yah, so pretty much, all this to say, destiny wants me to get myself a pair. And who am I to disagree with destiny? :)


Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Open Plan

So I guess almost year between posts in normal when you have a baby, right? Here's hoping to a little more consistency as I now have a TODDLER! (How did that happen?)

I love Jenny's blog Little Green Notebook and was perusing her posts last night when I saw THIS:

everything. I love everything.

It literally took my breath away. As I scrolled down looking at each beautiful image, I realized my appreciation was not just for the style and aesthetic, but also for the open plan. I've often been an open plan snob. Often clients ask me for a melding of the formal and casual spaces which can often look mish-mashed. And often times builder-ready homes marketed to have "open plans"really just look like a great room with no delineation of space.

paintings above the sink

But now that I am a mother and have a VERY busy toddler who always wants to be under my feet, I am COMPLETELY ENAMORED with the concept of an open plan living space. I mean, wash the dishes in a closed off kitchen that's separate from the family room? Last week when I did that, I found my 15 month old, in the powder bath, stirring toilet water with one arm up to her armpits, and holding her can of puff snacks with the other- I presume she was attempting chip 'n' dip. ::Shudder:: Gross.

fridge, microwave, beg area opening into the dining area

So anyway, I'm a recent convert to open plan homes. And THIS one does it so well.

those shades WITH the patterned draperies! (She's also a textile designer and that fabric is her own design! Love a woman who creates in several media!

You may have already seen these pics in Domino of Lauren Liess's incredible renovation. She tore down walls, re-configured the kitchen layout completely, added a big beautiful island, and made a bar/fridge nook off to the side near the dining space. It's so incredible.

the flavor of her kitchen just flows right into the open family room. 
She did such an amazing job creating a large multi-tasking space with style that flows. I love how well she did that!

The space has such a great vintage/country/industrial vibe that is inviting, unique, and casual while staying stylish and cool. I think those open iron shelves are my favorite too- although I'm still not convinced I could do open shelves in my own kitchen (too many mismatched messy things!).

I also LOVE the barstools and that leather living room chair in the bottom left-hand corner of this photo.

For more photos, check out her blog here.